Wednesday, May 31, 2006


a young man graduating from a high school in yakima, wa relates to his town via the great raymond carver.

get me tyra banks... STAT!

Is it just me, or does anyone else find this thread ha-ha-larious?

James Watt Award nominee #1

From this morning's Washington Post comes a story datelined out of Seattle. After recent comments from employees ran counter to official administration salmon policy flim-flam, doubletalk and damnable lies the Washington office of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has brought the whip down. According to the story, NOAA "has instructed its representatives and scientists in the West to route media questions about salmon back to headquarters. Only three people in the entire agency, all of them political appointees, are now authorized to speak of salmon, according to a NOAA employee who has been silenced on the fish."

Money Quote: The order was issued the day after an article appeared last month in The Washington Post quoting federal technocrats making positive statements about two recent decisions -- one by a federal judge, the other by federal scientists -- that challenged previous Bush administration policy about protecting salmon in the troubled Klamath River, which flows out of Oregon into California.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

jack hitting the road?

We've been hearing rumors that Jack Mitchell's tenure in the Yakima canyon (AHW's home waters) may be about to come to an end. Mitchell has been leasing two launches/camps -- Umptanum and Big Horn --from property owner Vic Jansen since the spring of 2004. Now, say sources, Jansen is close to reaching an agreement with the state on a land swap deal that may put the parcels in the hands of the public. According to the source, negotiations have been ongoing for for almost two years. These negotiations, I am told, are close to being completed. Can there be better news for a Yakima River angler? Nope. Imagine it: two new launch spots back in the public domain, up to 20 camping spots at each site? AHW's small cold heart leaps! More news as I get it....

Monday, May 29, 2006

limited out?

how far is too far on the drake (the board with "no rules") asks board honcho nemo, ex post facto... seems the drake's cruise director pulled an "offensive" poll by some typer named fishmaster flex. to cover his tracks or, perhaps as a mea culpa, nemo then posts a "wuz i wrong?" poll on his site and then ducks out of the line of fire. how far is too far? it appears we're finding out.... but i can't quite suss in which direction.

feh... lame...

(normally, i'd put a bit more effort into the backstory here, but i reckon most AHW readers will be able to suss the context. ) this post, appears to be related in some strange, truncated way. again, the typing handywork of mr. fishmaster flex.

flex's money quote:

I wasn't really trying to get anyone up in arms about it, the rules said "no rules". Maybe the rules should forever read "no rules, but, you can't insinuate in thread or poll that someone might want to kick Cathy Beck in the crotch". I voted for no censorship.

this entire "episode" seems a bit "drive by", but i feel compelled to a least post this note to angie da fishin' goddess: someone is gaining on you, sunshine...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

gone fishin'

i'll be out of the office the next few days fishing. don't break anything while i'm gone.



just installed statcounter on AHW this morning. i admit, i was shamed into it by wally over at flytimes. anyway, i was checking into the stats a minute ago and the first search engine referral came via a MSN search. the search term? "hooked on ass".

bravo, and welcome, new friend.

that makes two of us...

redeeming qualities

FAOL takes a ton of shit from other "cooler" FF BBs out there -- and you know who you are. But while the cool kids at the Drake and Fly Fishermen are dislocating their elbows with constant self-referential in-jokes and back patting, FAOL chugs along -- oblivious, cantankerous and pretty much not caring what you or I think. This post, on foam block drift boats simply rules. Having seen P. Dieter's homespun foam block drifting monstrosities, it's easy to gain an appreciation for these punk rock, DIY ugly ducklings. Just as cool is this post, pointing to the totally friggin' boss Pandora site -- even if the posters do reveal themselves to have zero musical taste, Pandora still rocks! Nice job you dorks!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

glass houses: UPDATE!

The google bomb crazy old coot post, as referenced below, has been zapped from the Fly Fisherman board. Part of me says, "good" the other part of me says, "wotta buncha pussies". Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled Fly Fisherman.

slaw dogs for everyone!

AHW is now listed in the sidebar of Trout Underground. Get yrself a slawdog over there. But remember, there's always free beer here!

glass houses, boys...

Over at Fly Fisherman, they've launched a campaign to "google bomb the crazy old coot". The old coot is Castwell over at FAOL. If you google "crazy of coot" well... let's just say it works. However, this "campaign" strikes me as as just a bit off-base, I mean, Colston Newton is a freakin MODERATOR at Fly Fisherman, fer cripes sakes. Talk about crazy...

Monday, May 22, 2006

i love this question

in response to a previous post ("geeks, girls, hissyfits") anonymous notes...

"WFF might be full of bitter jackholes, but what it lacks in character
it makes up for in sheer traffic volume."

the anonymous mailer is right, i mean, we've all seen those stats on the WAFF page as well as the Drake page and hipwader has them too... -- or is he. I've noticed a number of blogs -- fly fishing blogs -- recently, that proclaim the readership numbers. Here's a survey of the blogs/BBs on my sidebar in re. to their published trafic numbers:
The Drake: Visitors per minute when I checked: 4.982
Westfly: no stats i could find other than 70 active topics today.
Dan Blanton: no stats
flies and fins: "Users browsing this forum: None"
Fly Anglers Online: 58 active topics today.
Flyfish saltwaters: 17 active topics today
Flyfisherman: 122 uses in last 30 min (includes all network's boards)
Hipwader: couldn't find stats
Noreast: 100 active topics today (not all FF)
Reel Time: 51 active topics today
Small Streams: Honestly, I don't know what they've done to their boards...
Washington Fly Fishing: "current active users": 171 (27 members/144 guests)

Very, very interesting. Yet we must agress, with no real constant, it's impossible to draw conclusions. However, generalizations..... now that's anoter story, yes?

Feel free to discuss

Friday, May 19, 2006

Koi (yes Koi) on the fly...

John Montana (no, I don't know if that's his real name) is pretty well known on FF BBs for his numerous posts on carpin'. And while it's true that JM targets those dinky Oregon carp, the guy seeems to know his stuff. Anyway, John has started a Carpin' blog. The highlight? A great story about him targeting a huge orange koi he's named "Road Cone". My question: Is that really a 20lb koi? My answer: No. Maybe 15 lbs -- if he just ate. Still... cool pix and story

When bad titles happen to great threads...

The monthly "Arts & Crafts" thread on Westfly's Oregon board only sounds lame. Once inside, there's ALWAYS great stuff. Check it out.

Check's in the mail!

Moldy Chum blows me away. They are like the AP/Reuters of the flyfishing blogosphere -- on top of every story, posting every bit of wierdness/minutae that breaks the surface of our little pond. How do they do it? Staffers? Interns? An ample supply of freshly harvested adrenal glands? And what of Fishing Jones? Multiple posts per day? Posting video? Talking about "sitemeter referrals"? What the heck is all that stuff? I'm still blogging by fax over here at the Whitefish compound. Anyway, bottom line: both blogs mentioned AHW recently and have therefore earned themselves entry into the VIP lounge at our upcoming launch party. Thanks guys!

What's that hissing sound?

Still absolutely nothing happening at Washington Fly Fishing. Well.... maybe naps... naps are happening.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

bat-shit crazy of just off the meds?

Unhinged posters really can make a rather mundane FF board a bit more lively. Consider the certifiable kooks out there (i'll refrain from naming names here, you know who you are). But an entire BLOG of bat-shit craziness? That, my friends, is solid entertainment. Over at the Fishing Goddess, Angie really lets 'er rip.
Money quote:

Imagine me sitting in a short black skirt, white low cut blouse with black tie hanging below my gorgeous cleavage, I adorn dark thick rim glasses and my hair is in a loose bun. I sit in a leather high back chair with legs crossed wearing fuck me black pumps and ORATING in a heavy thick German Accent...

"You see gentlemen, for these C&R specimens the steelhead represents their penis. So in their confused diluted minds, they are trying to save their steelhead penis from extinction and to keep them spawning at all costs. See since they can’t spawn themselves, just the fact that knowing that the steelhead that represents their penises are spawning gives them sexual satisfaction. Plus, the most important part is that no one wants to think about their penis becoming extinct. "

Gold, Angie! Pure solid gold!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Get thee there, son!

Fuck me! In adding all those new links, I forgot to link to my other blog (Yeah, I hog bandwidth, what of it?) Thee Streamside Companion and Angler's Faithful Respite is a blog where I post fishing stories, try out in-progress stuff from my in-progress novel and wallow in self-indulgent excess. If you are a fellow that values his time, I wouldn't bother clicking.

in which we add to the stable and edit some stock BS

I've added a few links over there (---->) on the right sidebar.

Making the cut:
Flytimes -- WT is a lights out fisherman, takes good photos and is a gracious writer.
Moldy Chum -- I have caught moldy chum. Moldy chum are my friends. This is a great blog spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of fish... and whatnot.
Trout Underground -- This is pretty much what most fishing blogs aspire to be when the grow up. Not this one, mind you. Ass Hooked Whitey will continue to piss in the pool, bitch and moan, spew vulgarities and fart in the general direction of the hip priests of the angling arts.
Tattered Fly -- Nice downhome Idaho blog -- but then, I have a soft spot for Idaho.
Schmidt's Walkabouts -- Even tho the guy namechecks Jimmy Buffet, I'm still including him.
Fishing Jones -- Lots of multimedia, lots of news. AHW will never be this good.
Fishing Goddess -- Angie, dear heart, how can you type with both a dildo and a half bottle of Beam in those manly mitts o' yrs?

Yr out the band, sunshine
Ifish -- I don't care.

Monday, May 15, 2006

A carp problem... averted

Was just about to link to a contentious post on FAOL re carp, carping and the anglers who actually catch them. Actually, it was beyond contentious -- it was that delicious blend of anger, paranoia, slander and extremism that all controversial FAOL posts seem to carry -- carry right until the moment the site admins yank the post and ban a couple of members. It's usually great theater, but alas, this post has been yanked. Instead, here's a post from DianeID, fuming because there are kids skipping school to fish. Alert the fucking NSA!

Yukon.... Yukon Jack, that is...

Over at the Drake, Smithammer has a very entertaining report about his summer-long sojourn into the wilds of Canuckistan. In true Drakian fashion, the replies are often as entertaining as the report.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

geeks, girls, hissy fits

Guy over at Washington Fly Fishing asks: "I'm dating this hot guurrrl, see, and she's a gear chucker, right? Well, I'm trying to both get into her pants and teach her to flyfish. Where should I take her fishing for our "first time." Naturally, since this is WAFF, the post gets littered with bitter recriminations and Northwest passive aggressive ass-bititing. The old WAFF-has-secret , invite-only-boards rumor also gets another airing. Ack.

which internets?

anyone for a flyfishing podcast? they got 'em over at

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

snout to snout

I love this photo of Jack Da Dog on Westfly coming snout to snout with one of our good pals. The other pics ain't so bad, either.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Ernie Schwiebert -- Bad Ass

As just a regular old dude who occasionally makes drunken and profane posts on fishing bulletin boards, I'm not a fan of Fly Anglers Online simply because they refuse to find a place under their tent for the drunken and the profane. In fact, I'd much rather make fun of them than praise them, but praise from an unwilling tongue is so much more sweet, is it not? Here's a really well-written report regarding the recent Earnest Schwiebert memorial service held at Princeton University penned by lesyoung, who -- and I'm only guessing here-- isn't the guy who played sax for Count Basie all those years ago... but shit... I'm a lot older than most of you kids and I actually remember Lester Young. You think that punk Jack White is a showman? You think you are down with hip-hop, trip-hop and punk rock? Lester Young would have busted you slakjawed and stolen that Ipod... But anyway...please forgive my rambling...

Funny as a crutch? Not so much....

Here's a decent from Westfly's Oregon board regarding fly fishing "crutches". Like most good posts, it takes a slightly new angle on an almost-beaten bloody horse, but Gene Trump, the OP, is one of the better posters still hanging around from the old Westfly crew and as you can see from the half-assed responses, the new guard are hardly up to Trump's topic, but... hey... that's why we're here, to pick the wheat from the chaff...

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