Wednesday, November 29, 2006

a brown trout at home and at rest

it's sorta zen fish porn and we could watch it all day... but only one question: why doesn't he eat those little fuckers swiming around next to him?

only a few more weeks now, Dennis

Listening to the now infamous soon-to-be-former Card's coach Dennis Green's meltdown post-Bears asskicking ("they are who we thought they are... AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK!") members of thee kollective pointed out that DGreen used a fishing analogy. Now we know why. And take it from AHW, Dennis, there is nothing -- NOTHING -- sweeter than fishing while collecting unemployment. Enjoy my friend!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

ah.... good to have the klan among us

ah... gathering of the klansmen... it's where all the stars (tim murphy! colston newton! live! free! sex show!) have migrated in order to tell dick jokes and comment upon current events and the "fishing lifestyle." a note: new "members" must be approved (full disclosure: thee AHW kollecktive was turned down) and this fact has apparently torqued some of the old boys from "the lodge" -- moreso when "Fogerty" appeared on "the lodge" to axe, "So, how is the cleaned up site coming along?" Alas, the post has been pulled, but the finger pointing , recriminations and foot stomping was quite entertaining while it lasted. anyway, that's it for thee introduction to "gathering of the clan". please, try not to smudge the glass and move steadily along.

Monday, November 27, 2006

wherin we watch us some footbaw

who at ESPN hates the seahawks? the raiders and then the pack? oy... a three-hour brett favre blowjob? tony kornheiser making latte jokes? joey t rattling the earhole like a frigging harpy? and to make it worse, thee redhead has tickets while the rest of thee kollecktive sits home eating chicken wings and drinking rat city ipa. (well, i guess that ain't so bad...) but you will watch o' anglers of america. oh yes you will. go ahead, click around the channels, you'll be back. prediction: brett favre pulled from an indian gill net in the mouth of the duamish tomorrow like a moldy chum, dungeness crabs dangling from his toes.

burning pram - we gots pictures

When burning pram was dreamed up over beers (Elliott Bay Alembic Ale, i think) we had no idea that it would turn into "the greatest night in flyfishing". But -- and this just pegs the what-the-fuck-o-meter --it's been four? five? years now. Dog races, poi, flaming fly lines, huge fucking piles of food, kegs and kegs of beer and a shit hot fire. Go!

misery, etc.

Joseph A is doing some strong work over at the steelhead diaries. Just sayin, holmes....

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


continued loveliness at the mad fishicist.

rodmakers: heed thee advice

From Colonel Robert Venerables as found in his tome, The Experienced Angler or Angling Improved Being a General Discourse of Angling; Imparting many of the aptest wayes and choicest Experiments for the taking of most sorts of Fish in Pond or River. (now that's a title!)

In Autumn, when the leaves are almost or altogether fallen, which is usually about the Winter solstice, the sap being then in the root; which about the middle of January begins to ascend again, and then the time is past to provide yourself with stocks or tops: you need not be so exactly curious for your stocks as the tops, though I wish you to choose the neatest taper-grown you can for stocks, but let your tops be the most neat rush-grown shoots you can get, straight and smooth; and if for the ground rod, near or full two yards long, the reason for that length shall be given presently; and if for the fly, of what length you please, because you must either choose them to fit the stock, or the stock to fit them in a most exact proportion; neither do they need to be so very much taper-grown as those for the ground, for if your rod be not most exactly proportionable, as well as slender, it will neither cast well, strike readily, or ply and bend equally, which will very much endanger your line. When you have fitted yourself with tops and stocks, for all must be gathered in one season, if any of them be crooked, bind them all together, and they will keep one another straight; or lay them on some even-boarded floor, with a weight on the crooked parts, or else bind them close to some straight staff or pole; but before you do this you must bathe them all, save the very top, in a gentle fire.

Monday, November 20, 2006


It's generally acecpted that our columbia river flats carp go into hiding when the water cools, but John Montata, over at carp on the fly, is still catching them in a little ditch outside of PDX. Strong werk, JM.

general reminder to thee angler

We have forgotten who passed on the following sage advice to us -- perhaps it was Mario Batali, perhaps it was Wyatt over at Flytimes but it remains the font from which all huge fish flow: "trout are only selective to dry flys, son!" That being said, here's a decent drake post on our favorite fly.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

hijinx at FAOL

uh... oh. someone is stealing all the best posters from the FAOL bulletin board! oh no!

btw, could this be related to the "invite only" GOTC BB started by disaffected posters? anyone with any info, please bring it!

UPDATE: FAOL has pulled the post (well that's some staunch "online journalism" -- step upon your dick in public? heck, just pull the post. it's laughable.)

thee complete angler -- online

Ike Walton's pretty famous book is now online... if yr into that sort of thing

Well met, gentlemen; this is lucky that we meet so just together at this very door, Come, hostess, where are you ? is supper ready ? Come, first give us a drink; and be as quick as you can, for I believe we are all very hungry. Well, brother Peter and Coridon, to you both! Come, drink: and then tell me what luck of fish: we two have caught but ten bouts, of which my scholar caught three. Look! here's eight; and a brace we gave away. We have had a most pleasant day for fishing and talking, and are returned home both weary and hungry; and now meat and rest will be pleasant.

prime underground links

yes, trout underground hawks various crap from orvis and sierra trading post and and who knows what else, but we still like trout underground. in this post, the underground burns some bridges at fish and fly magazine skewering it's dumbshit editor, tom pero, and the mag's el lame-o attempt to crawl even higher into the intestinal tract of the corporate fly fishing industry. if you readd this blog with any frequency at all, you are aware how this plays into our sweetspot -- corporate fly fishing still sucks!

leonid meteor shower nov 17-19

thee kollecktive loves meteor showers. we go into the desert, burn things and then settle back to enjoy the show. this here link provides all the info you'll need.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

thee madison minute (election day edition)

The accumulation of all powers, legislative,
executive, and judiciary, in the same hands,
whether of one, a few, or many, and
whether hereditary, self-appointed, or
elective, may justly be pronounced
the very definition of tyranny.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

chum salmon recipe challenge! (really!!!)

Our good pals at the Washington Dept. of Fish and Wildlife are currently sponsoring a Chum Salmon recipe challenge. Uh.... well... OK.

digression: rock (well, by name at least) music

The nine nominees for 2007 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are: Chic, The Dave Clark Five, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, R.E.M., The Ronettes, Patti Smith, The Stooges, Joe Tex, and Van Halen.

Seven of the above will be inducted, meaning that the reader must eliminate two of the above. AHW's thoughts:

Chic: Lookit, i like Chic. Chic, one could argue, were the greatest disco band of all time. Bernie Edwards? Nile Rodgers? Pretty swell... but rock? Chic as rock band? Reminder: Chic had -- tops -- three decent albums and what? four or five top ten singles? Sure, they've been lifted like crazy by hip-hop over the last 20+ years, but I dunno... this seems more a vote for Rodgers (the brains of the outfit) than the band as a whole. OUT.

The Dave Clark Five: Seriously? The Dave Clark Five? Sure, the Kollecktive fucking LOVES garage rock and while the DC5 had some serious chops ("Glad all Over") but hall of fame? Nah.... OUT

Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5: OK, yes, you can make the "it ain't rock n' roll" case re. Flash, but most people won't buy it. These fucking guys did a substantial hunk of the heavy lifting during the early days of hip-hop. IN.

R.E.M: I remember a buddy of mine back in the day had a shirt that used to read "REM is Air Supply." HE WAS RIGHT! Let's consider, for a moment, the notion of "college rock" and just how unrocking that shit really was. The Feelies? The dB's? Love Tractor? Throwing Muses? Those fucking bands sucked! Sucked! REM is to blame. OUT

The Ronettes: IN. No fucking question. IN. Way more rock than ANY band from Athens, GA.

Patti Smith: Patti Smith has always bugged the shit out of me. OUT.

The Stooges: I'm don't have the list of every band enshrined in the hall, but his much I know: No one kicked as much ass as the stooges from about 1967-1973. NO ONE. I mean, cripes, the Stooges practically invented Punk Rock 10 years before the Ramones. Lookit their contemporaries: the doors, VU, the Who, Zeppelin -- the Stooges whalloped the holy hell out of all of those bands and they did it practicing in some shitty walk up in Detroit. That's punk, goddammit! IN!

Joe Tex: A marginal soul singer with one middling hit. He deserves it more than REM, but , alas: OUT.

Van Halen: An interesting case, as VH has provided many excellent moments of ROCK, but has often screwed the pooch in ways vile and embarassing, producing "music" that was so shitty, so contrived and featuring Sammy Hagar, that the listener muster seriously consider just who Van Halen is. Are they the band of the first coupla LPs who could rip off "Atomic Punk"? or were they the declining bag of shit peddeling power balads on VH1? Sorry, VH, rock n' roll never forgets (how badly you sucked after Diamond Dave got booted). OUT.

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