it's friday: am i bleedin'?

Before we blow outta here, this kinda dumb luck random oddness must be seen. Other than that, go catch some fishes and don't go shoot .50 cals into stuff where it could bounce back and hit you in the noggin.

o sweet jesse james: devendra banhart covers townes van zandt

Thee AHW Kollecktive recently screened "Be Here to Love Me" a wunnerful documentary about the hard life and tuff times of Townes Van Zandt. It kicked ass. Buried in the special features was this gem: Devendra Banhart doing his version of "Colorado Girl". We couldn't believe it either!

bull trout = 169% badass

Our man in the tri-cities, Vern, had a couple pretty kick-ass run ins with badass bull trout while angling down in Oregon. We feel not a whit of sympathy for this trout. He oughtta know that if you fuck wiff a bull, bring a baggie for yo teef:

This one took the rainbow in fast water, then hung on as I hauled it up thru rapids and over rocks, into the quiet shallow pool I was standing in. All the while, I could see the elk-hair caddis in the small trout's mouth. You can see my leader in the picture; it looks like the bull has his mouth around it. Jim took this picture while the fish were right at my feet. If you look closely behind the bull's eye, you can see my reflection... note the bent rod.
Amazingly... the rainbow(s) survived their respective ordeals.

Via Westfly

holy jesus! dick cheney has a posse

The Washington Post's must-read expose on the ways and means of (Vice?) President Dick Cheney, "Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency" just gets scarier and scarier. This linked story recounts Cheney's efforts at undermining environment regulation, gutting the endangered species act and climbing trees at the full moon and biting the heads off of bald eagle chicks.

Law and science seemed to be on the side of the fish. Then the vice president stepped in.
First Cheney looked for a way around the law, aides said. Next he set in motion a process to challenge the science protecting the fish, according to a former Oregon congressman who lobbied for the farmers.
Because of Cheney's intervention, the government reversed itself and let the water flow in time to save the 2002 growing season, declaring that there was no threat to the fish. What followed was the largest fish kill the West had ever seen, with tens of thousands of salmon rotting on the banks of the Klamath River.
Characteristically, Cheney left no tracks.

It gets better (or worse, we reckon):

It was Cheney's insistence on easing air pollution controls, not the personal reasons she cited at the time, that led Christine Todd Whitman to resign as administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, she said in an interview that provides the most detailed account so far of her departure.

And for angler, the coup de gras:

When the vice president got wind of a petition to list the cutthroat trout in Yellowstone National Park as a protected species, his office turned to one of his former congressional aides.
The aide, Paul Hoffman, landed his job as deputy assistant interior secretary for fish and wildlife after Cheney recommended him. In an interview, Hoffman said the vice president knew that listing the cutthroat trout would harm the recreational fishing industry in his home state of Wyoming and that he "followed the issue closely." In 2001 and again in 2006, Hoffman's agency declined to list the trout as threatened.
Hoffman also was well positioned to help his former boss with what Cheney aides said was one of the vice president's pet peeves: the Clinton-era ban on snowmobiling in national parks. "He impressed upon us that so many people enjoyed snowmobiling in the Tetons," former Cheney aide Ron Christie said.

holy jesus! that fuggin' hurts

From this morning's Seattle Post-Intelligencer*

With his hand wedged between his boat and a log, and his future son-in-law off getting help, William Messenger decided he was out of time. He pulled out a pocket knife and sawed off two of his fingertips to free himself from the sinking vessel.
Minutes later, his son-in-law arrived with help, a pry bar and other tools to separate the boat from the log. Messenger was taken from the Wynoochee River in southwestern Washington to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, where a hospital spokeswoman said he was in satisfactory condition Monday. She did not know whether surgeons had been able to reattach the fingertips.
Grays Harbor County Undersheriff Rick Scott said Messenger, a 51-year-old fisherman from Ocean Shores, might have made a different decision if he had known how quickly his future son-in-law, Jarrad Todd, would arrive.
"Hindsight is 20-20. If he'd have known help was not that far away, he might have held off taking the steps that he did," Scott said.
"It's one thing to think about doing that, but it's another to actually execute the plan."
Messenger and Todd, 29, were fishing on the Wynoochee on Sunday afternoon when rapids swept their 16-foot drift boat into a logjam. The side of the boat slammed against a log, pinning Messenger's left index and middle fingers. The pressure of the water held the boat in place.
The boat was turned upstream at a 45-degree angle and began to fill with water. Todd escaped and went to a nearby home in Aberdeen for help, Scott said. In the meantime, Scott said, Messenger was straddling the quickly filling boat and began to worry it would sink before Todd returned.

*please note: Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollective has exercised unusual editorial discretion in selecting the accompanying image for this post.

reminder: there has not been a post re. thai hookers on this blog for a very long damn time.

we apologize...

mcbride lake: before and after

so what happened? according to a Westfly post:

the upper Kalama swelled and made a hard left turnover the road and into the lake and through the beaver ponds below the lake, setting free a bunch of brookies and prolly killing most of them

U.S. Fish and Wildlife: making life easy for Weyerhaeuser

According to the Seattle PI,
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service offered a Weyerhaeuser Co. executive the opportunity to edit a letter the agency was sending the timber company regarding "concerns" about Weyerhaeuser logging harming spotted owls.
And an internal Weyerhaeuser memo prepared for a meeting with a Bush administration official shows the company wants to do as little as possible to get environmentalists off its back while still cutting as much timber as possible.

gone fishing

maybe just for today, maybe 'till monday... we're free and easy like the '70s...

undilutable slang truth!

recently found on the youtubes: a 9 part documentary on the wonderful and frightening world of the fall. we only post this because the fall have kicked a buncha ass over the last 50 years (give or take) and mark e. smith looks like friend of thee kollecktive and lights out PDX fisherman "Company" Karl Karleson.

some capr news

Yay!
John Montana from Capr on the fly is featured in a recent issue of the American Carper mag. A pretty good interview.

Boo!
Red's fly shop now actively taking sports to the flats.

STOW THAT 5 WT., SON! IT'S ON!

crab creek in the crosshairs?

Looks like the oft-discussed water storage solution for the columbia/yakima drainage may now be focusing on crab creek. the yakima herald has the story. Money quote:

The state report says a reservoir at Crab Creek, about four miles south of Wanapum Dam, could hold up to 2.65 million acre-feet of water at an estimated cost of up to $3 billion. Lesser priorities in the state study are Sand Hollow, east of the Columbia River, nearly four miles north of Wanapum Dam, and Hawk Creek, south of the river about 40 miles upstream of Grand Coulee Dam in Lincoln County.
The top-rated Crab Creek site, predictably, has drawn criticism from environmental interests who say it would flood a wildlife refuge and damage habitat for endangered fish.
The state report notes the Black Rock study is being conducted by the federal Bureau of Reclamation under separate, congressionally mandated authority -- though the state is a major financial and technical contributor -- and is much further along than Ecology's preliminary analysis and cost estimates of the Grant County sites.

deeeeeeeep spaaaaaaaaase

always one of our fave-o-rite topics... here's the recent spaaaase shuttle launch as seen from the spaaaaase station.

woah... friday already?

You simply cannot beat this old-timey shit, son. Enjoy the weekend.

from the "no shit" department: hatchery salmon not the same as wild.

Grist mag has the details:

A federal judge in Washington state has overturned a contentious Bush administration policy that had tallied hatchery-raised fish as well as wild populations when determining the species' status under the Endangered Species Act. Under that policy, that a collection of green groups sued to overturn, upper Columbia River steelhead had been listed as threatened instead of endangered due to the inclusion of millions of hatchery-raised fish in making the determination. "The court concludes that in evaluating any policy or listing determination under the ESA, its pole star must be the viability of naturally self-sustaining populations in their naturally occurring habitat, " U.S. District Judge John Coughenour wrote in his decision. "To be sure, the inclusion of hatchery fish alongside natural fish ... strikes the court as odd." The ruling, welcomed by conservation groups, is at odds with a 2001 decision by another federal judge who ruled hatchery fish should be counted when determining a species' ESA status. Wednesday's decision is likely to be appealed.

wiener dog in a kiddie pool

no, goof ball, this is not a joke about the gathering of the klan ffbb, it's just a youtube video of a wiener dog running around in a little-bitty swimming pool. we find this clip oddly comforting -- almost zen-like. while the dog is certainly dumb and more than likely nuts, we admire his determination -- his ability to simply lower his dog head and attempt to get the job done -- whatever he perceives that job to be we cannot say. yes, he certainly could be an insane little barky dog, but could there be something behind his zeal other than the need for refreshment? flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop, around and around he goes, oblivious to the world about him, deaf to our mocking laughter and feeling none of the "lil' wiener" barbs tossed his way. we could learn a lot from this wee fellow... yes, indeed.

Donny Beaver -- making more pals in PA.

Donny Beaver and his Spring Ridge Club have bought more land (and posted it, of course) along Yellow Creek in Central Pennslyvania. The anglers over at Fly Fishers Paradise are not happy.

now THIS is a whitefish, holmes.

Mostly right, usually is a cool newish blog straight outta PDX. They are obviously doing something right.

wherin we draw a parallel to right wing posters on fly fishing boards using only a short youtube video clip

gone fishing

sorry, fellow anglers, those TPS reports will just have to wait another day. we'll be checking out some of of fave cascade streams to see how they is progressing post runoff. thee kollecktive reckons it'll be a three weight situation...

wherein we depart from our usual format

Due to our Kollecktive nature, AHW generally recoils from writing about personal fishing trips, but this pic is prolly just too good to pass up. Old Timey Wally has the story...

it's a new morning at thee ass hooked whitey kollecktive

Greetings Anglers!
As we begin our second year of bringing you 169% badass stuff, it's time refocus and remember what AHW is all about:
fishing
punk rock, old timey, country and free jazz
deep space
the fond memory of the wayne fontes era of detroit lions football
other stuff we can't seem to recall right now.

O! Anglers, another year stretches afore us like a golden road...

50,000 Ass Hooked Whitey Fans Can't Be Wrong

First, our 1-year birfday and now, 50,000 hits. Thee Kollecktive would like to take this opportunity to apologize in advance for the next year and the next 50,000 visitors.

we gotta chain of flowers... we're smoking cigars

Thee AHW Birfday Specktackular Continues... this just in from our close personal friend Bjork. Thanks, baby, we'll see you for the fjord fishing in da fall...

wherin thee ass hooked whitey turns 1 year old

Actually, thee anniversary passed while we were recently fishing, but whatever... after close to 50,000 visitors, we are still verry proud to be, "that fetid fly fishing backwater". In the coming year, we promise, as always, to attempt to do better. Thanks for your support, we do appreciate it.
--Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollecktive

a beatdown (typed)

Our pals over at Voluntary Beatdown recently posted a pretty frigging funny screed regarding trout, trout fishing and the dorks what fish for trout. Money quote:

proven entertainment: pale trout people and big hats weekend driving their wife's SUV and sporting cute little vests that make cowbell clanking noises when they walk and those taxonomic Latin sweet nothings they whisper into each others ears and, this one really gets us here at the Beatdown: the limp wrist, whippy little mending.

Thank you, beatdown. It just needed to be said.