gone fishing

sorry. but i heard the fishing is pretty good about this time of year, so i'll be kicking around the backyard for a coupla weeks. nah... not bringing a computer... the only time that is done is when one needs to file unemployment claims from the parking lot of the best western in gardner (free wifi!). we'll be back roundabouts oct. 8.

digression: football (yes, again)

over at kissing suzy kolber, big daddy drew lays out thee pre game playlist for a fucking badass
money quote:

Before games, our locker room blasted a mix of one third Alanis Morrisette, one third Hootie, and one third Dishwalla. Or some other horrid shit. There were times I had to listen to Jagged Little Pill and/or Cracked Rear View IN THEIR ENTIRETY prior to a practice or a game. And you know what songs my team played on the locker room stereo when we won? One of them was "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. The other one was "Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Root. That's right. The fucking Ice Age song. One time a friend and I tried putting a Faith No More CD into the player. It was ejected two minutes later.

This was bullshit. BULLSHIT. I get fucking pissed about to this very day. That is not football music. It's pussy music. Unacceptable. Fucking Unamerican. And these days, it's only gotten worse. One guy I met once said he didn't like seeing the band Idlewild play in concert because they were "a little too hard rocking". Excuse me? Too fucking hard rocking? Die.

That's why I, Big Daddy Drew, have taken upon myself to institute a mandatory pre-game playlist for all NFL locker rooms

i played cards in england, i played cards in spain...

i'll bet you ten dollars
i'll beat you
next game.

the incomperable clarence ashley performs the coo coo -- one of the finest songs (and certainly one of thee most kick-ass riffs) in the entire american cannon. fuck the rock on!

Goodrich who is remarkably fond of fishing caught several douzen fish of two different species

probably a smart idea to acquire this piece of verry considerable tackle on general principals, it being the bicentennial of the return of pvt. silas goodrich and lads to st. louis.

paddy gass, sgt.

Sept. 23, 1806
The 19th, was a fine day, and at day light we continuted our voyage; passed the mouth of the Mine river, saw several turkeys on the shores, but did not delay a moment to hunt; being so anxious to reach St. Louis, where, without any important occurrence, we arrived on thhe 23rd, and were received with great kindness and marks of friendship by the inhabitants, after an absence of two years, four months and ten days.

billy clark, cap'n

we rose early took the Chief to the publick store & furnished him with Some clothes &c. took an early breckfast with Colo. Hunt and Set out decended to the Mississippi and down that river to St. Louis at which place we arived about 12 oClock. we Suffered the party to fire off their pieces as a Salute to the Town. we were met by all the village and received a harty welcom from it's inhabitants &. here I found my old acquaintance Majr. W. Christy who had Settled in this town in a public line as a Tavern Keeper. he furnished us with Store rooms for our baggage and we accepted of the invitation of Mr. Peter Choteau and took a room in his house we payed a friendly visit to Mr August Chotau and Some of our old friends this evening. as the post had departed from St. Louis Capt Lewis wrote a note to Mr. Hay in Kahoka to detain the post at that place untill 12 tomorrow which was reather later than his usial time of leaveing it

thee eel pie incident

a terrific story and a coupla freaked recipes from the always terrific old foodie blog:

Congur in Sawce.

Take the Conger and scald hym. and smyte hym in pecys & seeth hym. take parsel. Mynt, peleter, rosmarye, & a litul sawge, brede and salt, powdour fort and a litel garlec, clowes a lite, take and grynd it wel, drawe it up with vyneger thurgh a cloth. cast the fyssh in a vessel and do the sewe onoward & serue it forth.

big john, sgt.

Tuesday 23rd Sept. 1806. a wet disagreeable morning. we Set out after breakfast and procd. on Soon arived at the Mouth of the Missourie entered the Mississippi River and landed at River deboise where we wintered in 1804. here we found a widdow woman who we left here & has a plantation under tollarable good way Since we have been on the Expedition we delayed a Short time and about 12 oClock we arived in Site of St. Louis fired three Rounds as we approached the Town and landed oppocit the center of the Town, the people gathred on the Shore and Huzzared three cheers. we unloaded the canoes and carried the baggage all up to a Store house in Town. drew out the canoes then the party all considerable much rejoiced that we have the Expedition Completed and now we look for boarding in Town and wait for our Settlement and then we entend to return to our native homes to See our parents once more as we have been So long from them.— finis.
-John Ordway

elephant thongs, vampire stakes, garlic

my man jayj kicks much ass. this is NOT match the hatch, far n' fine ain't it purty fly fishing. this is for men.

beer=pretty good in a cannon

thee mighty, mighty beer cannon.

tally ho!

From FAOL:
There is no way I can report on any one thing without offending one of our sponsors, we just have several all in the same business."

So it is on FAOL. Well, I'm fucking shocked! Shocked! Both FAOL and FF give public blow jobs to the industry within a day of each other? Man... those interwebs are really blazing new trails, eh?

anglers, please keeep your stupid opinions to yourself

At least on Fly Fisherman.

Money Quote:

Users reviewing specifc products and services are one of the best parts of this web site. You get to see who has had bad experiences, who has had good experiences, and make smarter purchasing decisions as a result. I don't have a problem with anyone complaining about a specifc product or brand as long as you do it using a real name and legitimate email address.
If an identifiable person wants to report bad performace or service, that's fine. You can stand by your remarks. However, if someone with an anonymous handle, and hotmail or yahoo email address has an axe to grind, I have a serious problem with that.
If you have a beef, at least have the guts to stand by your own remarks. Anonymous complaints are just cheap shots that don't do anyone any good.
If I see potshots like that, I'll be removing them.

G.E.M Skues clears his fucking throat

"I imagine that no art has ever been learned from books. Fly fishing is no exception."

blogging jerks

Tom "underground" Chandler has, we hear, some kind of fly fishing blog-thing. It appears he's hosting some kinda "outdoor bloggers ho down.

No. Of course we weren't invited. So that's it. That finally tears it. We are done being so fucking nice. Done!

fuck yuo yuo fucking geeks!

ah... football!... part two

if this doesn't CEMENT a red blooded american man's love for football, i simply do not know what will... it's simply breath-taking.

fucking politicians... they ruin everything

and of course, it's a republican!

aye, there's thee spirit

"We who go a-fishing are a peculiar people. Like other men and women in many respects, we are like one another, and like no others, in other respects. We understand each other's thoughts by an intuition of which we know nothing. We cast our flies on many waters, where memories and fancies and facts rise, and we take them and show them to each other,
and small or large, we are content with our catch. "
W. C. Prime, I Go A-Fishing [1873]

buggers, buggering, buggered

I took a walk after dinner. It’s astonishing the number of bass I saw playing in the current. They often catch three dozen in the course of half an hour with a fly. I think they are the finest fish I have tasted in America.

Robert Hunter, Jr. (1785)

your dry fly can't do this

now this is how you tie a deer hair streamer

fistfight, montana

yep, the gloves are off. here's a great piece of reporting on the conrad burns v. john tester senate race by betsy cohen of the missoulan. she really captures the atmosphere here and she gets outta the way while the boys wail away. thee crowd is described as "boisterous".
here's a money quote, but the whole thing is gold. is this a bellweather race?

“It's time you have somebody back there who knows how to balance a check book. I've balanced it on the farm and I've balanced in the state Legislature. And we did it two years at a time. And we did it this year without increasing taxes. That's my record.”

Burns took Tester's jab head-on and responded: “Your farm didn't get hit by Katrina. Your farm didn't get hit by terrorists. Your farm got hit by a little disaster and I offered the checks and you cashed them up on that ol' farm.”

“That's a pretty bad comparison,” Burns said. “But you took the check, right?”

“Let's talk about food security, about a farm program that doesn't benefit multinational food corporations first, but family farmers and ranchers first,” Tester rebutted. “Let's talk about drought in north-central Montana that's gone on for six to eight years. If you think those checks from the government have made me flush, you are wrong.

“I've had to reduce my expenses and I've had to pay my bills, which is exactly what the federal government needs to do.”

“This economy will grow,” Burns countered. “And we will get there. We've done it before in this country and we will do it again.”

ah... football!

Woot. Football dawns... Oops, I meant the other one.

generally, rants are supposed to have a point

Unless you are Castwell! Not quite sure what he's saying here, but he is wandering into the incomprehensible territory blazed by... oh... i dunno... Colston Newton? And yeah, it gets better. The rant triggered a discussion on the FAOL board, but when someone said, What the fuck are you on about, dude? the post was pulled, Castwell grunting to his minions: "I pulled the topic because folks were miss-quoting, making up quotes, making groundless accusations and basically lying, fighting, being disruptive and trying to instigate something. Anyone offended by this please leave." That's gold, baby, gold!
Money Quote:

I see no good reason that they can not continue to rent canoes instead of kayaks. Canoes are at lease aesthetic, well somewhat anyway. So today's canoes are not birch-bark, I can live with that. But, why do we need to put some wobbly-bobbly boatetts from the frozen arctic on this river? Watching them just destroys the image.

god bless jerome howard

Here's a clam to you fellas sitting in a cube right now. Put yr headphones on, kick back, enjoy.

Includes thee classic fishing scene two minutes in. You fuckers owe me.

T.J., also gone a fishing....

"How soon the labor of men would make a paradise of the earth were it not for misgovernment and a diversion of his energies to selfish interests."
~ Thomas Jefferson

gone a fishing

Thee AHW compound, while extremely well fortified, will be vacant for a few days while we pursue whatever it is you pursue in the midwest when ye go a fishing. Posts enlightening those remarkable nooks and crannies encountered astream and afloat will resume on or abouts Wed., Sept. 6.

We remain and offer Kindest Regards, & et.

Thee