O! Anglers! Thee metaphors we shall draw!

Thee monk and thee fish is a lovely animation by Michael Dudok

It's Kalevala Day!

The Kalevala is the National Epic of Finland, and it's pretty gotdang long. Fins celebrate Kalevala Day on Feb. 28. So what? you ask. Well, Thee Ass Hooked Whitey has sniffed out some of the hardcore fishing action. Here's an excerpt. You can find a translation here. And thanks to Olli at Opax for the tip.

"Ahto, king of all the waters,
Ruler of a thousand grottoes,
Take a pole of seven fathoms,
Search with this the deepest waters,
Rummage well the lowest bottoms;
Stir up all the reeds and sea-weeds,
Hither drive a school of gray-pike,
Drive them to our magic fish-net,
From the haunts in pike abounding,
From the caverns, and the trout-holes,
From the whirlpools of the deep-sea,
From the bottomless abysses,
Where the sunshine never enters,
Where the moonlight never visits,
And the sands are never troubled."

Rose a pigmy from the waters,
From the floods a little hero,
Riding on a rolling billow,
And the pigmy spake these measures:
"Dost thou wish a worthy helper,
One to use the pole and frighten
Pike and salmon to thy fish-nets?"

black metal + austrian pop idol = lotsa laffs

Thee artiste is singing a song called The Brimstone Gate by the band Naglfar.

a gentle reminder to thee angler

AHW is always accepting literary/artistic contributions to our cousin-blog, thee streamside companion. if you've got a good story, poem, essay feel free to send it via email. we'll post it on thee streamside and and include a crosspost on AHW.
We thank ya kindly...

the pittsburgh pirates: thee most flyfishingest team in the MLB

That is, unless they were fishing with Donny Beaver at the olde spring creek ranch. via the pitt trib review:

After practice, first baseman Adam LaRoche had a long chat with chairman of the board Bob Nutting. They swapped stories about their shared passion for hunting and fishing.

"I'd like to meet up with him and do a little fly-fishing," LaRoche said. "They've got a camp, 5,000 acres or something, about an hour from Pittsburgh. It's always nice to have something in common with the owners."

• Nutting arrived in Bradenton on Saturday but did not address the team until yesterday. He used the free time in between to do some fly-fishing. Judging by the smile on his face and the distance between his outspread hands as he talked about the trip, it would seem the fish were biting for Nutting.

wherein we fill space with a marginally funny youtube clip you've prolly already seen

rise of thee blogs

Moldy Chum has an interesting post this morning, comparing the reach of fishing sites like cabela's/bass pro/orvis vs. the likes of kauffmans/the fly shop/riverwire. Of course, the results are not surprising -- bass pro and its ilk crushes the little guys... but hold on half a sec.... what happens when you compare the reach of a popular fly fishing blog to kauffmans/fly shop/river wire?
Well lookie lookie!!! Trout Underground's daily reach is comparable and often greater than the fly fishing e-commerce sites. You don't need an MBA to see what this means...

attention fly tying geeks!! (international edition)

Whatsamatta, you don't read Finnish? Pretty amazing bug porn herein.

an olde tyme hockey broke toof video moment: sens vs. sabres

Well played by Buffalo here. Can't let 'em hit yr stars -- especially at home, forcripessakes. Extra special bonus when Sens "tough guy goalie" (ha!) Emery gets his ass whupped by Peters. But why does Brian Murray put out his #1 line when he knows there's some face punching coming up? Whoops... almost forgot... it's because Brian Murray is a dumbshit.

UNLIMITED! Wilfred Brimley Appreciation Thread!!!

We don't care what anybody says, we'd fish with this sombitch any day of the week.

Thee Kollecktive Approves

Wherein we rest up after saving the fly fishing internets

You're gotdam right we're taking credit. Full and total credit. Once again the fly fishing internets are safe for posting your desperate musings -- thanks to the intrepid reportage of THEE ASS HOOKED WHITEY. Today, thee kollecktive shall rest. In the meantime, perhaps you'd care to view this 169% badass video by thee salem travelers. It's really, really, really great.

holy jesus! OPEN THREAD!!!

Awww.... we know. It's been a tough coupla days. Get it off your chest. You'll feel better.

hippies, punks, drunks and trout bums: it's revolution day at thee ass hooked whitey!

we don't need no water...

No, YOU shut up! High Drama at the Drake

Twitter, twitter, gasp and wonder! O! what has become of the Drake FFBB?
Beloved (or despised) for it’s “no rules” ethos, the Drake BB quickly became one of the most active, lively and interesting internet message boards on the fly fishing internets (such as they are, sadly). While both the Fly Fishermen and Fly Anglers On Line BBs saw memberships splinter, decline or defect, the Drake enjoyed active posting and a skyrocketing membership. And for good reason: supremely slutty fish porn, an almost embarrassing number of good writers/posters, lotsa laffs and quirky traditions such as mandatory posting of “boobies and pie” for noob posters made the site a must read.
Well, it was good while at lasted... at least according to a large number of Drake posters who are now engaged in a kind of guerilla war against their beloved Drake board in a delightfully anarchic attempt to regain what they view as their turf.
Girls, this is just too, too much!
So what’s got the Drakes (Drakians? Drakesters?) in such a tizzy? They feel the board has been overrun by “asshats”, trolls and dumbasses. Their solution? Bombard the board with pointless posts, meaningless posts and posts extolling the likes of godzilla, baseball and a bunch of other stupid shit in an attempt to drive out the board’s lesser/destructive posters.
Now organized at a separate, invitation-only, password-protected bulletin board the group now plots strategy, discusses tactics and debates the whys and wherefores of their insurgency.
So what happens now? The splinter Drakians are observing three days of “radio silence”, but in the long run the outcome is anyone’s guess. In private emails and public practice, the Drake’s leaders are flummoxed. At the same time, the insurgency clings fast to the notion that they are acting soley for the good of the Drake, all the while building up their own substantial community at the invitation-only board. Meanwhile, the trolls still flourish on the Drake and the fat lady adjusts her tierra and approaches the microphone.

thee president's day message

"The man who loves his country on its own account, and not merely for its trappings of interest or power, can never be divorced from it, can never refuse to come forward when he finds that she is engaged in dangers which he has the means of warding off." --Thomas Jefferson to Elbridge Gerry, 1797. ME 9:407

wherin we kick off thee weekend

with some good old fashioned country music. ladies and germs, close personal friend of thee kollecktive, Mr. Robbie Fulks

holy jesus! FLYING MANTA RAYS!!!

"According to several researchers, manta rays are often seen jumping out of the water, as high as 2 feet, and then returning to the sea. Scientists are not sure why this jump takes place - it is just one of the many things yet to discover about the manta."

VIA FOGONAZOS

AHW = deep space exploration (+ occasional fishing content)

totally cool (and we mean totally, totally effing badass) video of the space shuttles solid rocket boosters falling to earth and splashing down in the ocean as seen FROM THE BOOSTERS.

new feature!!! pictures of impeachable fly fishing "celebs"

The whitehouse site has a lovely photo essay here.

When WT breaks shit down, it STAYS broke down!

Wally, over at Flytimes -- oops, make that Fly Times Old Timey Fly Fish Blog (Optimized! for more hits!)-- has him a ha-ha-larious barstool type rumination that somehow attempts to relate fly fishing to hunting (or something) -- oh -- and he tosses in thoughts about steelheadin' and carpin', too. Oh yeah... one more mini-bonus jumbo featurette: he's also devised a huntin'/fishin' comparison chart for your edification. Strong work, WT. Strong.

the drake: what thee fuck?

nope, we didn't get an email. nope, we have no idea just wtf is going on over there. but if it makes anyone feel any better, here's a picture of a robotic carp.

UPDATE: The Drake's Nemo tells the kids to knock it the hell off. Nothing happens.

thomas tod stoddart views spring

Sing, sweet thrushes, forth and sing! Meet the moon upon the lea; Are the emeralds of the spring On the angler's trysting-tree? Tell, sweet thrushes, tell to me, Are there buds on our willow-tree? Buds and birds on our trysting tree?

wherin we return to thee words of Thomas Tod Stoddart

Here's a great little excerpt from An Angler's Rambles and Angling Songs, written by Scotsman Thomas Tod Stoddart (1810 – 1880). David Profumo describes Stoddart thus:

“ … a fishing author from the Scottish Borders who devoted his entire adult life to the sport. In his journal, the redoubtable Thomas Tod Stoddart records that in fifty years he caught some 67,419 fish (not including eels). Regarded in his heyday as the literary heir to Izaak Walton, he was the presiding spirit of Scottish fishing and was dubbed by John Buchan ‘the Poet Laureate of Angling’; these days he is largely forgotten, except for a remark that has entered piscatorial mythology. On re-meeting a childhood acquaintance, Tom was asked what he was now doing in life; a little resentfully, he replied, ‘Doing? Doing? Mon, I’m an angler.’”

thee madison minute (special lincoln edition)

Longtime readers will recall thee Kollecktive's wildly popular "madison minute" mini-jumbo featurette which was published during the last election. Here's a reprise featuring Abe Lincoln. (With thanks to Andrew Sullivan).

"Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion, and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose, and you allow him to make war at pleasure. Study to see if you can fix any limit to his power in this respect, after having given him so much as you propose. If to-day he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, — 'I see no probability of the British invading us;' but he will say to you, 'Be silent: I see it, if you don't.'
"The provision of the Constitution giving the war making power to Congress was dictated, as I understand it, by the following reasons: Kings had always been involving and impoverishing their people in wars, pretending generally, if not always, that the good of the people was the object. This our convention understood to be the most oppressive of all kingly oppressions, and they resolved to so frame the Constitution that no one man should hold the power of bringing this oppression upon us. But your view destroys the whole matter, and places our President where kings have always stood," - Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to William H. Herndon, Feb. 15, 1848.

(Herndon, Lincoln's law partner, had written him arguing that the president as commander-in-chief possessed the right to initiate a war against Mexico without specific Congressional authorization. Photograph by Gardner, Alexander, 1821-1882, taken five days before Lincoln was assassinated.)

anglers! readers! thee historically inclined! .... o! how happy thee day!

A new (!) post now appears on our cousin blog, thee streamside companion and angler's frequent respite -- it being an excerpt from a novel in progress concerning silas goodrich, angler of thee lewis and clark expedition to thee westward.

as always, we welcome the contribution of literature, poetry, essay, art and ephemera for inclusion on thee streamside. we thank ya kindly.

thee legends of fly fishing (music)

buck owens
don rich
the buckaroos
and a young lass who brought some pie

Who is the Property Environmental and Research Center and why do they hate us?

A recent overview in the NYTimes focusing on the Little Juanita/Spring Ridge Club ruling drew the attention of the Kollecktive when writer Debrah Wiesberg quoted Terry L. Anderson. Anderson is executive director of the Property Environmental and Research Center in Montana, a pioneer of "enviropreneurship", which treats open space as a free-market commodity. Anderson says he believes sportsmen should not expect to use fisheries and hunting grounds for free.

“The man who plays golf, the man who skis wouldn’t think of getting on a course or a run without paying,” Anderson said in a telephone interview. “The same fees should be thought of with hunting and fishing.”

Privatization leads to better stewardship of resources, he said.

“No one washes a rental car,” Anderson said. “Opening streams to public access creates a tragedy of the commons. Everyone races to get it before someone else does. You have overfishing or overcrowding or both.”

holy jesus! TALKING DOGS!

testicle talk!

why do people go to fly fishing bulletin boards? to talk about their balls with a bunch of old men. duh.

if you are a big tree, then we are a small axe

the assault on the dead tree flyfishing media continues.

sir jackson throws pretty loops
teh windknot
rotten spawn sacks, tattered flies and leaky waders
the wet boots
chasing silver

holy jesus! TATTOOED FISH!!!!

A tropical fish supplier in Hong Kong is offering a unique new service in which it will tattoo fish with the words, patterns or logos of your choice using a laser.
HK Aquaria Mall sells a range of parrot cichlids that are dye tattooed with Chinese New Year wishes or sayings such as "I love you", and now offers the opportunity to have fish custom tattooed with the words of your choice.
...Chairman of the HK Aquaria Mall, Alen Lee, told the Chinese newspaper Mingpao that unlike some other forms of dyed fish, his are tattooed with dye using a special "low intensity laser" which he claims leaves a permanent mark and does not cause the fish any pain.

wherein we review the new issues of fly fishermen and fish and fly

fish and fly editor: tom pero
horrible.

fly fishermen editor: john randolph
i want my money back. again.

salmon - dams = happy orcas

Here's a good piece from the Seattle PI's enviorblogger James Schroeder that manages to connect the dots on yet another benefit of dam removal/retrofitting on both the Klamath and the Elwah Rivers.
Money Quote:

So, maybe there is hope that we can restore salmon-producing rivers for ourselves and for our orcas. The Elwha River dams are slated for removal starting in 2008. Restored salmon runs to the Elwha will have significant benefits for the orcas. If we can get the Klamath dams out, save rate payers money, restore commercial fishing, and increase the food supply for the beleaguered orcas, who loses?

reminder: jazz is the teacher, funk is the preacher

and thee ass hooked whitey is a deep space blog.